Cornell Daily Sun Elects Its 126th Editorial Board

After a whirlwind six weeks of the inhumane blood-sport known as compet, we were just about ready to join the cast of American Gladiators — either that or America’s Next Top Model. But instead, the 126th Editorial Board of The Cornell Daily Sun has emerged, and its members are sure that, like each of the previous 125 boards, theirs will be the best ever.

Noah Grynberg ’09, in the tradition of other fearless leaders like Napoleon and Muggsy Bogues, proves that charisma sometimes comes in shorter packages. His first job as editor in chief will be to set up a basketball hoop in his new corner office. What we still don’t understand is his affinity for Yerba Mate and Metallica. Rock on.

The Committee for Making Money will be headed up by incoming Business Manager Vicky Kahn ’09, who has the soul of a loan shark and the heart of a derivatives trader. We’re certain we are in good hands with this New Yorker.

Sarah Singer “oh my gosh we’re sooooooo funny” ’09, the new managing editor, hails from the lean, mean streets of Scarsdale, N.Y. Don’t look at her sideways or she’ll misquote you. For serious. Did you just make a joke about Singer’s chronically ill non-Blackberry Blackberry? You may just pay with your life. Okay. Awesome. Good stuff.

Our omnipotent ruler, Web Editor Chris Barnes ’09 of Manhasset N.Y., is the brains behind our little operation. Seriously, the rest of us know nothing. Hail to the chief.

Advertising Manager Lindsay Bass ’09 of New City, N.Y. likes C.U. Hockey, Communication research and novels by J.D. Salinger. Also, Grey’s Anatomy. See Facebook for more info.

Associate Editor David Wittenberg ’09 hails from Newton, Mass., and has already made his corner closet here at 139 W. State his own — literally. And yes, he hired an interior decorator. DaWitt has a history of locking himself out of the office and has the local locksmith on-call at all hours. Side note: as he found out, no, the fire department will not, in fact, open the door.

Arts & Entertainment Editor Julie Block ’10 is a super sophomore. True story, she’s 21. But don’t ask her for alcohol. You can see her chilling with the graduate student community at the Chapter House. Seriously, WTF mate? [1]The write stuff: The Sun's 126th Editorial Board was elected by staff members on Saturday.

Although Arts & Entertainment Editor Peter Finocchiaro ’10 Cold Spring Harbor N.Y., was recently featured on the Daze cover as a Texan, he’d like you to know that this, in fact, is not the case. Don’t let his charming boy-next-door demeanor and chill style fool you … he has a tendency to get in minor car accidents. Every. Single. Day.

City Editor Benjamin “head in the clouds” Eisen ’10 never fails to be in two places at once: the office and outer space. Originally from the land of the argyle, Cambridge Mass., Eisen just goes with the flow. WARNING: be prepared for “sentimental” e-mails from his alter ego, Cartwheel. Sweeeet.

Look! Up in the sky! It’s News Editor Willimina Bromer ’10 flying around the office on her enchanted pink bicycle. Yes, those are handlebar tassels, and no, we are not making this up. Bromer, like Singer, came up from Scarsdale’s meanest streets. The two newsies state, however, that they were members of rival gangs.

News Editor and New Yorker Emily Cohn ’10 just tries to blend in. Case in point: look at her horizontal striped shirt on the front page of the paper.

News Editor Jasmine Marcus ’10 of Upper Montclair N.J. loves diversity. Also, shiny, happy people.

Carol Zou ’09 worships a bisexual, vegan god. From this description, we’re guessing she goes to the same temple as former Associate Editor John Schroeder ’74.

Jennifer Vargas ’09 frightens us with her insane and oppressive organization (let’s hear it for Google Docs). A native of the dirty Jerz, Vargas is known for her killer action shots and sly candids.

Leigha Kemmett ’10, our go-to prepster, sailed over on the Mayflower with the rest of the all-American bluebloods. She can be picked out of a crowd with her ever-present pearls, popped collar and matching cable knit sweater.

Sports Editor Cory Bennett ’09 is known for his soft side and self-deprecating humor. Don’t make him laugh too hard; his lung might collapse.

Assistant Sports Editor Meredith Bennett-Smith ’10 of Penryn, Calif. woos us with her sweet, sweet voice. As The Sun’s resident troublemaker, you can spot her on campus wearing a skater-boy/gangster head ornamentation (unclear as to what it actually is).

Assistant Sports Editor Alexandra Perez ’10 from Fairfax, Va. is The Sun’s regular hitchhiker due to a lack of driving ability. And she’s not even from a city. Lame.

Assistant Sports Editor Keenan Weatherford ’11, of Aptos, Calif., pities those from the lame-o SoCal. He’s too nice for our un-funny jokes. Probably because he’s not from Southern California.

Assistant Web Editor Michelle Sun ’10 from Irvine, Calif. loves the newspaper so much she changed her name. Sweet, free advertising. Thanks, Michelle.

Assistant Web Editor Mike Wacker ’10 from St. Louis, Mo. wants to be portrayed more evenly in The Sun. He doesn’t actually like Ron Paul. The scented candle shrine in the back of his closet is just for show. He promises.

Munier Salem ’10 is our little sunshine. Hailing from the great suburban outback of Poughkeepsie, N.Y., Munier, an assistant design editor, likes to get down with the funky music. As an Applied Engineering Physics major, Munier sees the world in picas. He is subject to spontaneous gymnastic outbursts on the 92 TCAT bus heading to West Campus.

Assistant Design Editor Deborah Tan ’10 can often be found hanging out in Mrs. Bishop’s candy bowl, along with other fun-sized candies. Her best friends include lemon-flavored Tootsie Rolls and those root beer barrel things.

Online Advertising Manager Joyce Wang ’09 of Horseheads, N.Y. actually likes ferrets. Isn’t that a shame.

Marketing Manager Shi Ming Luo ’09 is from the third-world borough known as Staten Island. Ew.

Assistant Advertising Manager Akansha Gawade ’11 from Mumbai, India traveled across the world to work for The Sun. Damn, we’re lucky.