The Cornell Daily Sun - Opinion

Where Do You Go To School?

C.J. Slicklen — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0400

Where (exactly) do you go to school? Welcome (back) to Cornell University. For those of you who got off the bus thinking this was Cornell College in Iowa (Yes, there is such a place. Google it.), now would be a good time to get back on the bus.

“Where the hell are we?” I heard one Freshman say to another as they drunkenly walked through Collegetown in front of CTB this past Orientation Week.

“Outside of Mary Donlon, I think,” replied the second.

Hugging The Brie

Andrea Girardin — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0400

Eight weeks ago, I came back to my parents’ home in suburban Chicago after having spent thirteen months working and studying in France. I lived in both Marseille and Paris and traveled to 45 other cities in 14 countries. I had the time of my life and, admittedly, consumed far too many bottles of wine.

As the return to America loomed, the prospect of returning home became increasingly dreadful. My wine consumption rose to exceed food and water consumption combined.

SUNY Cornell

John-David Brown — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0400

I know that you still cry sometimes about that fact that you weren’t good enough for Yale or Harvard, but face it: you don’t go to a real Ivy. The sooner you start taking advantage of your state school benefits, the better.

Claims that Cornell is the worst Ivy — or that it shouldn’t be an Ivy at all — are both valid and deeply seated in reality. According to Radar Magazine (and numerous other sources), we are “overrated” and “anti-intellectual,” have the ugliest girls and boast an oppressive Greek system. In case you don’t know yet, all of these things are true. We also jump into gorges and stab West Campus visitors. But so what? Cornell is a great university — not in spite of these things, but because of them. Except for the stabbing thing.

C.U. Not Anti-Schedulizer, Registrar Says

David Yeh — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0400

I would to like to make clear several facts about Cornell's course schedule system and the business enterprise Schedulizer that may have been obscured in recent news reports.

The University has not changed its systems in order to thwart the popular commercial enterprise, Schedulizer — and the university is always working to improve its systems in support of students. Any changes in the systems run by the university have been made to improve the utility and functionality of those systems for the benefit of students. Schedulizer has been challenged by its inability to work with the university to, in an approved way, adapt practices to the university's new systems.

Jumping Fences

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0400

Gorge safety. It’s easy to be tongue-in-cheek about what often seems like a common sense issue. That is, until another student dies.

This summer, Doug Lowe, a rising Cornell sophomore, drowned in Fall Creek Gorge. Lowe is not the first student to drown on the Cornell campus, but his death has provoked another University-wide discussion about the problems tied to our one of our school’s most prized resources.

Who bears responsibility for a life lost in the gorges?

Youth Vote '08: McCain's Tone Deaf But Trying Hard

David Wittenberg — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0400

He’s effeminate! He’s dreamy! And he’s only about 15! Is somebody finally going to call the McCain campaign and tell those people that Barack Obama isn’t the fourth member of the Jonas Brothers?

I tried my best, but they wouldn’t listen to me. Something about being young and inexperienced.

“We believe that Barack Obama is a global celebrity who has a lot of fans out there,” McCain campaign spokesperson Joe Pounder told me.

And maybe he’s right. This is clearly a quality no leader of the free world should ever aspire to. Real Americans want people to hate us! We were going to nominate Oscar the Grouch, but his publicist said he was unavailable. And besides, he has too many young fans.

Am-bi-valent: The Sun’s new sex columnist is in the house

Liana Mancini — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0400

I fuck men. I fuck women. If the opportunity ever arose, I’d fuck a person who didn’t identify as either, but I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting such a kick-ass human being. I’m not gay, and I’m sure as hell not straight. A lot of people would probably call me “bisexual,” but I’m not down with that either.

The Conscience of a Generation?

Ted Hamilton — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0400

This summer I called Collegetown home, basking in the balmy weather as I slaved away at Intensive Latin and poured kamikazes at Dunbar’s. That experience — a continuous residency in Ithaca during which I haunted the empty campus and walked the empty streets — gave me time to reflect on university life: the classes, the parties, the Facebook profiles. And so I think it’s appropriate that in my first column and on this first day of class we take a step back and ask: what does it mean to be an American college student today?

Union Chief: On Diversity, C.U. Police Needs Work

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0400

My term as president of the Cornell Police Union will expire on Labor Day. In over 25 years active in the union leadership, my signature failure has been attempts to diversify the supervisory ranks of the Department.

When I came to the Department in 1977, management was comprised of 14 white men. Today, there are 13 and one woman. This is our progress in over a quarter century. During this time one African American managed to break through to management — only to be demoted shortly afterward. Twice the Department has gone outside the University to avoid promoting highly qualified and senior minority candidates. Meanwhile, the union has had to resort to the grievance procedure and human rights organizations to protect women and minorities within the bargaining unit.

Berry Patch: Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Provosts

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0400

We’re in a nominating mood this week at The Sun. Even though we’re not soaking up the hope in Denver (the business department told us something we couldn’t understand about “spending money”), we can feel the love from here. And our boy Barry has us kvelling. (what a mensch!). In the spirit of shameless electioneering — and on the heels of C.U. communications chief Tommy Bruce’s email blast soliciting nominations for the University’s chief academic officer — The Sun’s crack team of chain-smoking management consultants came up with a list of folks we’d like to see as provost. Not all of them are full professors, but all are Cornellians. Now see if the so-called “selection committee” can do any better.

Bill Nye ’77, Science Guy