It’s that time of year again. No, I don’t mean the beginning of the NBA season, but rather Halloween. It’s the one night of the year that everyone is encouraged to dress up as someone else and go have some fun. Dressing up as an athlete has become somewhat of a tradition for me, so this year was no different. Given the precarious state of hockey, my friends and I decided to embody the 2012 NHL Lockout — interpreting the NHL, NHLPA and Hockey-Related Revenue in our own unique ways.
So, in honor of Halloween, I am going to share some (satirical) sports-related costume ideas with Cornell’s male population, since I doubt you’ve been preparing for tonight as long as us girls have. Ladies, don’t be offended, these ideas can work for you too — you just might need to purchase a fake mustache or two. I’ve broken them down by personality, but feel free to disagree.
Mr. Big Shot
Are you the kind of guy that is the life of every party? Rolling up with a girl on each arm, Mr. Bigshot is a pimp by blood, not relation. Despite having an ego which rivals the size of Soviet Russia and a left hook like no other, you have a group of guys who are in awe of you. Cornell’s very own Alexander Ovechkin, you always mean business because if confidence was the name of the game, you would be MVP. For Halloween, you should show off your true tough guy nature and dress up as your favorite icer. Whether you’re Sean Avery, Zdeno Chara or Raffi Torres, you’ll be the coolest guy in Dunbar’s. Stoli shots for everyone — on you.
Are you the kind of guy that always matches his socks, shorts and shirt — to his Sperry’s no less? A connoisseur of the wine list at your local country club, you and your winning smile have caught the attention of many. A Tiger (Woods) on the prowl, you have an eye for the finer things in life. So, whether it is your perfectly coiffed hair or neatly pressed slacks, you always leave an admirable first impression. For Halloween you should highlight your true passion for all things preppy, so break out the argyle socks and grab a 9 iron — just make sure that your Swedish girlfriend doesn’t see you making googly eyes at the girl behind the counter at Stella’s.
All the ladies want to date you and all the guys want to be you. Sound familiar? Sometimes mistaken for Cristiano Ronaldo, you’re the perfect dose of tall, dark and handsome on a dreary Ithaca day. Strutting around Statler in your custom-tailored Armani suit, you are accustomed to having your way. Betches want you — despite the fact that you sometimes have bigger diva moments than they do. Mr. GQ is a regular at the Regent Lounge, always ordering his martini shaken, not stirred. This year, channel your inner soccer player (or footballer, if you hail from across the pond) and don your Pumas and Barca jersey. Enjoy your night on the town. Just make sure not to spill your drink on anyone — that’s an instant red card.
Fangirls. Fanboys. You’ve got them all. You’re a big man on campus — but, actually — and everyone thinks you’re the next best thing since rain boots in Ithaca. Like Michael Phelps, you give off that swag which keeps everyone rooting for you, even when you fail. Known to be a little bit of a player, you love the ladies and are known for living the good life. This Halloween, rock your jammers like Ian Thorpe or if you’re brave, go shirtless and wear your custom American grill like our favorite playboy, Ryan Lochte. You’ll make quite the splash when you hit the Collegetown streets with your custom-sole sneakers. Oh jeah, just make sure to remember your wallet — everyone at Level B will be dying to swim in your fishbowl.
The Guy Next Door
You’re sweet. You’re nice. You’re Ithaca’s very own Guy Next Door — but with a bad streak. You are known for being dedicated to everything that you do, but who doesn’t love to relax and let loose every once in awhile? “Work hard, play hard” is your motto and this Halloween that is exactly what you should do. Grab your favorite flat brim, some tight white pants and people might easily mistake you for Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez or Bryce Harper. Showing off your moves on the Pixel dance floor, everyone might think you’re Cornell’s newest outfielder or pinch hitter.
So, guys (and girls), there you have it. Find some friends to dress up with you and maybe you can trick a few people into believing the N.Y. Rangers came to town. Happy Halloween!